Before you read the rest of this entry, listen to the audio below. I can wait.
Hopefully you got through that. I’m sorry if my thoughts sounded all over the place and super sorry I sound like a twelve year old (that’s something I can’t help). I recorded those thoughts exactly a year ago and had to convince myself it was worth keeping. I found that recording a few weeks ago and it’s a BIG deal that I’m sharing them. That experience in college happened almost almost ten years ago and I still struggle with fear, particularly my fear my writing is just not good enough.
I hate that.
I hate that I write all these rough drafts and never go back to edit them. I hate that I don’t show my writing to people for feedback. I hate that these thoughts of being an inferior writer often control me and I just don’t write. Fear fuels all of this.
I’m tired of being paralyzed and discouraged. Which is why I’m writing this post and actually making it public for all the world to read (or at least one person, perhaps).
The truth is, I’m doing this to push myself to write more. That’s why I’m also taking an on-line writing class and doing Camp Nano. I need every bit of motivation I can get to keep writing, even if it can be overwhelming.
I’d love to be a published novelist. What writer wouldn’t love such an opportunity? However, the reason I write is bigger than being a New York Times bestseller or getting lucrative advances from a publishing house. The reason I allow myself to bleed words through a pen or a computer keyboard is because I love to create and love to tell the stories or thoughts that rattle around in my mind. I want to use every ability the Creator has gifted me with (yes, I brought God into this post. Tough.) and I want to burn out bright rather than die with unused potential.
Here goes everything.
My initial goal is to post something new every Monday. That can be a short story, an essay, or something I’m currently working on. It could also be me venting, so be prepared for that too. Topics of faith may be brought up, but I’ll give you a fair warning before each post if you aren’t into Jesus or God.
Until next time.